Is he a gentleman, a wank, or a trophy chaser?

Posted by on Friday, May 7, 2010    Print This Post Print This Post

What does his wine say about how he’ll treat you? Is he obsessed with status or a guy who knows a good value when he sees it? Take this quiz to find out!

1. Sonoma road trip! What kind of vineyards does he take you to?

The more commercialized vineyards he read about in a tour book. You know, the ones with party buses parked outside and pours that are regulated down to the milliliter.
The most expensive and prestigious ones. He ships home all the award-winners — even the ones you’re not so fond of.
The hidden gems and the under-the-radar tasting rooms he found after scouring blogs and asking friends.

2. Now you’re in one of the Sonoma tasting rooms. How does he treat the pourer?

Like a friend
Like an omniscient guru
Like a hired lackey

3. His oeno-related bad habit?

Whenever he launches into a “wine rant,” telling fellow customers at the wine shop why the bottle they’re holding stinks.
He can get a little too sentimental over a vintage. See: The particular meritage that is eternally off-limits — because he and his ex used to enjoy it.
That he has no idea how to pronounce Viognier. And that he doesn’t seem to care.

4. Dinner party! When guests come over, it’s all about…

The wine labels. They are expensive, famous, and prominently displayed.
Your guests’ enjoyment of the food, wine and ambiance.
Pretty much everything but the wine.

5. The party’s a hit! Afterward, he’ll…

Give all the credit to you — and the woman at the store who picked out all the wines for him.
Call it a shared effort. He’ll make mental notes of all the wines everyone enjoyed the most and the least
He’ll take all the credit, hinting at his good taste in wine...and women.

6. Ugh. The party was definitely not a success. He’ll blame…

Your friends’ pedestrian tastes.
Himself, for not aerating the Vintage Port long enough, for over-chilling the Prosecco, for overcooking the fish, for his sub-par playlist…
Nobody. Not every soiree can be a chandelier-swinger, right?

7. On your first date…

When you say you’re stuck between three glasses, he has the server bring out tastes of each. This leads to talk of the semester abroad you spent in Italy.
He ordered a bottle for the table. He didn’t really consult you on it — even though its price was well into the three figures.
He stared blankly and ordered whatever the sommelier said to order.

How important are ratings?

Massively important. He can quote the rating of every glass you sip together.
Moderately important. It’s more about the feeling it gives both of you.
Meh. If anything, he goes by the little signs written by the supermarket staff.

9. His favorite wine…

Has been the same for years.
Hmmm...He doesn’t really have one. There are several that he thinks are cool, though!
Changes every few months, according to what he reads in Wine Spectator according to what sayeth Wine Spectator and Robert Parker. They’re always show stoppers.

10. Speaking of which: How often does he whip it out? (His favorite wine, that is…)

In the entire time that you’ve known him? Um — once, maybe twice? He hoards those bottles away like an unbalanced squirrel.
Sporadically. The thing is, he has a few he’s fond of, but he usually forgets their names.
Whenever you’re having a romantic dinner. Or on cozy movie nights. Basically, whenever you request it!

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